Our Ties to Deer Park Monastery
Interbeing sign at Deer Park Monastery
As a writer, I often cannot fully explain where my inspiration comes from. And fortunately, as a poet, a musician, a dancer, and an artistic creative I understand the value of not needing to. Ultimately, anyone’s inspiration for doing anything is tied to everything that’s ever happened. Which is as Zen-based of an answer if ever there was one.
So if you’re ever wondering where the topics for these weekly EM blog posts rise up from, the answer, at least some of the time, is: I have no idea. Sometimes, of course, these posts are simply speaking to something physically happening here on site. Other times I simply follow my heart, start typing, and see what transpires.
This week I am feeling called to chat about our connection with Deer Park Monastery, which is rooted in the Plum Village tradition of Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh (Thay) in which we practice here at Empty Mountain, and located in southern California. Mike and I first went to Deer Park Monastery for a retreat led by Thay in 2009. We road tripped there with a few of our good friends from our local sangha in Missoula, Montana. It was my second retreat with Thay, and Mike’s first. It was also where Mike formally received the Five Mindfulness Trainings and received his lineage name: Courageous Opening of the Heart. My first retreat with Thay was in 2007, in Estes Park Colorado, when I was ordained into the Order of Interbeing (OI). And the ordination name I was given was True Wonderful Flower. I was 28-years old at the time. (Which means I am 45 now, in case you were calculating.)
For the purposes of further fleshing out the time line and our practice history, I received the Five Mindfulness Trainings in 2004 and given the lineage name Steadfast Awareness of the Source, by lay Dharma teacher Eileen Kiera, and Mike became an OI member in 2021, ordained at Deer Park, and given the name True Friend on the Path. A Dharma name which thoroughly and totally fits for him, I might add.
In 2011 we took our son Jaden, age 11, to a retreat with Thay in Estes Park, CO, where he received the Two Promises in a ceremony designed especially for kids, and was given the Dharma name Reflecting Lake of the Heart. Mike and I went to Plum Village Monastery in France for a 21-day retreat with Thay in 2012. In January of 2014, I went solo to Deer Park for a one-month seasonal retreat stay. And ever since then, Mike and I have been going to Deer Park together every year, for varying lengths of time.
Over the past 10-years that we’ve been going to Deer Park, there have been times when Mike was there for a few months and I opted to stay home in Montana. One year we went together and I stayed longer and he flew home. One year I flew home and he stayed longer. And there was one year where I didn’t go at all and he was there for 3-4 months.
The impetus for my first solo stay at Deer Park in 2014, centered on wanting to have a personal retreat. I was accustomed to attending our twice annual local retreats in Montana, but they were loving service retreats. I, like many others who attended, especially those who were OI members, were helping to steer the logistical aspects involved, verses being “on” retreat. So I went to Deer Park in 2014 to give myself the opportunity to be “on” retreat. Little did I know it would start Mike and I’s love affair with going back there every year.
The first few years we went to Deer Park together, we scrimped and tucked money away for the whole year leading up to going there. There were plane tickets to buy and the cost of the retreat itself to save up for, not to mention the bills and mortgage we would need to pay while we were there and not actively working and earning money. Given our limited financial means, it took a lot for us to get there every year. We made certain sacrifices that many folks would probably not be willing to make, so that we could afford to go. We placed priority on deepening our spiritual practice, rather than such things as dental checkups and annual eye exams (we both wear glasses). When you don’t have a lot of money, one learns to make certain choices. And for us, we chose going to Deer Park over certain other things.
After a few years, Mike started inquiring with me about whether I might be interested in spending a longer period of time at Deer Park. In our first few years in going there, our typical stay length averaged around 3-weeks. Mike wanted to maybe look into spending a year or so there, but it was nothing I was interested in. I fully supported him in going, though. So one year he went for 3-4 months, and another year he was there for 4-5 months. His skills and talents for building and fixing things was (and still is) in high demand at Deer Park, so he was able to go on a work-stay arrangement. We were also starting to build a relationship with the monks and nuns at the monastery by this point, since we’d been going there every year.
Then the pandemic hit, and all the reasons I previously hadn’t wanted to be away from home, in order to spend a longer period of time at Deer Park, were eradicated. As a community builder who enjoys organizing and hosting events and gatherings, both sangha related and otherwise, there was too much I would miss doing in being away from home for too long. But everything was canceled at the start of the pandemic, and the door then opened for Mike & I going to Deer Park together for longer stays. And while I of course would have preferred a different spark to galvanize us in this direction, I am grateful for the new pathway that presented.
Staring with the Rains Retreat of 2020-2021, we’ve now been spending our winter months at Deer Park Monastery. So for the last 4-years, we’ve been spending 4-5 months there each year. Every year is a little different. We’re a little different. The monastery is a little different. Our life circumstances are a little different. The world is a little different. Ya know, cuz life is of the nature to change. So each year we adjust our time there according to a number of varying factors. This year we plan on heading there in early December and returning home in March.
In what still feels like a newer development, even though it’s been almost 3-years, I am now also employed by Deer Park Monastery, as an assistant to the registrar in the registration office. I work remotely when I’m stationed at home here at Empty Mountain in Montana, and I work on site when I’m there in the winter months. It was yet another door that opened based on rather difficult circumstances (not dissimilar to when we started going to DP for the winters when covid came to town).
When we arrived at Deer Park in October of 2021 to spend the fall & winter, I was freshly recovering from surgery. In an ordinary stumble down the back steps of our house in Missoula, I had managed to break my ankle as much as an ankle can apparently be broken. I had three breaks that needed hardware and screws inserted to put back together. I had a long, grueling recovery. I arrived to Deer Park in a walking boot on crutches, with firm instructions to remove the boot only for the multiple times a day I needed to do my prescribed exercises, which were incredibly taxing and painful.
Long story short, I was unable to help in any of the regular work assignments that are typical at the monastery, due to my limited mobility. So instead, I was asked if I would be willing to help in the registration office, which is not really ever on the table, as it’s not an area of the monastery where folks can just be dropped into for a couple hours to help out. I gladly agreed, having very little idea of what it would entail. While it’s easy even for folks who visit Deer Park regularly to have no idea all of what goes on and gets tended to in the registration office, I learned quickly that the longtime registrar had her hands super over full with work to do.
When the time was getting close for Mike and I to depart, I felt bad for needing to leave my volunteer position in the office. There was so much work to do in that office! I truly had no idea how their one extremely skilled and amazing employee had been doing the work solo. She was (and is) amazing! On top of that, having been there for almost 6-months helping in the office, I had received a lot of good training. The kind of training you can only get on the job. The kind of training that takes time to learn and dedication to get proficient at it. I decided it was worth broaching the subject about whether my volunteer role could turn into a part-time paid - and remote - position, even though I found it wildly uncomfortable to do so. I mean, the worst they could say was no. And, of course, they didn’t say no, they said yes. And now I work part-time for the monastery.
While we for sure need someone physically on site in the office at the monastery, a majority of our work is on the computer, working in our data base, uploading content to our website, and processing payments and refunds online. And crafting and responding to A LOT of emails. So it’s a good thing I like writing and emailing, because I do a ton of it for work now. (Did I mention this kind of work was all new to me? For the whole of my adulthood prior to working for the monastery, I worked with kids. I was a daycare assistant, a middle school teachers aide, a preschool teacher, an after-school teacher, and then for many years an in-home nanny (which was my favorite). So computer work and customer service work was all new for me.)
Goodness. This turned out to be a long post. I think I’ve been typing for nearly 3-hours. But that’s a writer for you. Writing is what I love to do. If you made it here to the end, thank you for reading, and for following along with our journey here at Empty Mountain, in which Deer Park Monastery is a big part of.